More Toddlerisms

(I will be adding more as they occur. She's getting quite loquacious.)

Me: "Are you adorable?"
B: "I NOT a doorbell!"


J: "This is not your toy! You understand?"
B: "I NOT under da sand!"


Me: "Well, aren't you opinionated?"
B: "I NOT a penny!"

Well, Dave's in for a surprise when he takes the car to work...

How to shop with a toddler:

1. Placate the toddler with goldfish crackers, and lead her to the car.
2. Realize you forgot your grocery bags. 
3. Get halfway back up the stairs, and remember that you left 2 bags in the car last time.
4. Drive to the store, listening to toddler sing about goldfish crackers.
5. Get shopping done in surprisingly timely manner, despite repeated requests in and out of cart, and multiple backtracks because you don't need to write a list.
6. Drive home, again listening to a serenade about goldfish crackers. 
7. Arrive home, remove crackers from child, and place on roof.
8. Remove child from car, and retrieve groceries from trunk.
9. Reach for goldfish crackers, and watch as a random gust of wind blows the entire bowl into the open sunroof, and all over front seats.
10. Shrug, and go upstairs.

Playtime with B

As I was chilling at my computer the other day (after cleaning, and being completely disgusted at how much dirt came out of our couch), B apparently decided I'd had enough leisure. (She kindly lets me know this by grabbing my pinky and pulling)
We went into her room, where she walked under one of the pet-nets, and starting pointing.
"Hey! Hey! Needit."
Her gesturing is rather imprecise, so the guessing-game commenced.
"Dory?" "No!"
"Puppy?" "No! Uh'er one!"
"Kitty?" "No!"
"Big Dolphin?" "NOOO!"
"Pooh Bear?" "No!"
"Dolly?" "Noooooo...."
The pet net was quickly becoming depleted, and I paused so she could look at all the animals that had been pulled, or fallen, out.
She looked at the pile.
She looked at the pet-net.
She looked at the pile, and smiled.
"Pooh!"
Pooh Bear in hand, she studied the pet-net again, and the animals on the floor. She placed Pooh Bear atop the dolphin.
"Rying! Pooh rying Dawfin!"
And then she toddled off, holding both. My job was done.

Toddlerisms

B's been having a bit of a language explosion. For your amusement, here're selections from her ever-expanding vocabulary:

sleep: "weep"
trash can: "rash han"
cat: "hat"
juice: "dooce"
cheese: "teez"
train: "rain"
diesel: "deezoo" [she only knows this because of her brother's train obsession]
markers: "mars"
funny sound: "fuh-ee sow"
please: "rweeze"
Blue's Clues: "Woos woos"
Care Bears: "Hare Baos"
sneeze: "seez"
pee: "peep"
tummy: "hummy"
Let me see this!: "Ay bee see dees!"
corndog: "horndog"

We Didn't Have Netflix When I Was a Kid

(or a TV, for that matter)
I freely admit to using Netflix as a motivation to teach J reading--we can't find whatever he wants to watch? Oh, no! We'll have to search for it. He's actually coming along quite nicely, but I'm pretty sure the biggest hurdle is the stupidity & unpredictability of the English language itself. Our recent search-log, with parental searches omitted:

kpper
super [just plain 'super' apparently brings up a lot of "boring stuff". Go figure.]
super why
monster trucks
thomas chrain

Besides his awesome tastes in childrens' programming, I am pretty pleased. Trying to explain all the exceptions in English...not so pleasing. I'm really starting to regret not forcing Dave to learn Spanish so we could just speak that all the time. :p

I'm taking away your rights to reasoning.

J & B were fighting over a book (be still, my heart!) off-and-on for quite some time. Finally, I got fed up and put it out-of-reach, and told them they could have it back if they played nicely for a while. B forgot about it instantly (oh, to be 2), but J kept asking for it back. Every time he was firmly rebuffed, but he's nothing if not persistent.
Finally, he seemed to grasp that he was not getting the book back.
"Fine, I'll just play with my toys!" *pout*
"Okay, that's a good idea."
"Mommy?"
"Yes?"
"I say A BOOK IS A TOY!"

Sure, kid; we'll get right on that for you.

J was playing with the infant bathtub, while B napped on the couch.
"Yook, Mommy! I'm in Bwidget's baff-tub!"
"I see that. But, you know, that's not really B's bathtub anymore. That's for little babies."
He points to snoring B. "There's a baby right there."
"B is a big baby. We don't have any little babies."
"We don't?"
"No, we don't. But we might someday [before I get phone calls & emails, this is a hypothetical 'someday'!]. Would you like more little babies?"
He furrows his eyebrows and thinks for a bit.
"Yes. I want more boys."